DUMB and BLONDE!

U know how people say the sunshine makes everyone happier it does me. This morning the sun was shining i was dress summery and felt happy in the knowledge that my new man wanted me. I waited ages last night for him 2 reply to my txts he did in the end and we txted all night really sexy naught ones 2 each other and then we both said good night and he said he would txt me 2 day. Problem is i never expected him to txt in the morning but i thought by the time now at nearly nine at night he would have also he said he would read the email i sent him i suppose he could have done that and not replied cuz he thought it was stupid but i was trying to be sweet and funny with it. I mean i suppose im paranoid i don’t know him very well and he probably doesn’t remember to do stuff i did kind of leave my bf cuz he was 2 needy and kept txting and ringing all the time now its the other way and i don’t like it either why cant i just have a lad who txts me occasionally but always replies when i sent him stuff? I think im starting to sound like i moan a lot but if i put it on here it saves me doing it at friends, family, my ex or my new lad. I am finding it is a good way 2 vent and feelings suppose its hitting me now the fact that i have really left my ex after 4 years and that mayb this new lad is nice but not bf material also that my exam is nxt week and all i can think about is him and not my work. I also feel like i use this and facebook to stop my revision anything to put it off im sure everyone that surfs when they should be working can relate to that!!

b4 any real relationships i would have said being honest with a person about cheating and not cheating in the 1st place is important how wrong was i as i never realized temptation makes us behave in weird ways causing us to break bonds and hurt people just so we can feel wanted by others other than our partners! I’m feeling quite deep and insightful for once maybe I’m growing up it is so close 2 the end of an era i feel kind of sad inside no more lectures, tutors, bar crawls, presentations, exams, assignments, referencing, losing my uni card, riding the train 2 Brum and most of all after 3 years not seeing my friends. Time flies it is so true no wonder im scared and sad im moving on in all aspects of my life it worries me maybe its good change i mean maybe leaving my boyfriend of 4 years 4 a lad on the footy team is not as stupid as i first thought i think maybe in time he may even lust after me alot i struggle to say love i thought i had that i suppose i have still for my Ex but he is loved by me like family rather than lover i need time and space and hopefully everything will calm down and be great again b4 i messed up my love life!

I have been friends with Frannie since my 1st day at uni 3 years ago, we have shared so much i just get the feeling that im nearly at the end of uni with her and we are drifting apart i dont know what runs through her head it really hurt me what she has done 2 me recently friends dont do the things ive let her get away with yet even though she is this way i struggle to stay mad with her.

So il explain what she did the 1st time she was all for me going out with her on the bar crawl girls night as until the end we were apart from the lads. Great i thought just girly fun no males distractions. She barely talks 2 me all night then leaves for the last place on the bar crawl without me does matter ive found some of my male friends im happily dancing. I’m staying at hers so later on i look 4 her she is so drunk she is nearly passed out on a chair with a lad. By the time we leave she doesnt want me 2 go home with her she wants 2 go with this lad instead of me even tho it was suppose to be a girly night and all my stuff is at hers!!! I stuck in Brum with nowhere 2 stay great wat a friend! My male friend ask if i want 2 stay with him i dnt i know he is being nice but he has also admitted 2 me that he does fancy me and in the small college rooms id rather not put temptation  plus he may think i like him back if i do that so i say no . Lucky quakes is there she says a spare room at her bfs and that i can wear her tracksuit back 2 frannie in the morning.

That was a while ago and forgot about it and forgave her, yesterday however she was unbelievably selfish and got very drunk the night before a very important group presentation she had awful hangover and didnt want to do the presentation then she starts being sick everywhere. She actually did the presentation but ran out half way through to throw up and did nothing 2 help with the prep and the report afterwards.

Me and my male friend i said about earlier told her we failed we haven’t but she needs to sweat for being so selfish!

I have been really busy with uni, football and generally making a mess with of my life nothing ever really changes then! I had the presentation evening for the football team i work 4 last Friday it was an odd but overall enjoyable night. I had things to consider4 a start i didn’t know what to wear cuz obviously i wanted to look sexy but not slutty and not just the players but the board were their 2! I went for a yellow, black and white short in length puff ball dress with low neckline. Ok i looked great it was good to show the lad that i am a girl and i don’t wear a tracksuit all the time although the neckline maybe was unsuitable as most of the night lads looked at my chest and not my face oh well. So i get my bf to drop me off and don’t know how i got him to let me go out with a team of lads but hey he did i was happy. We ate our meal but i cannot believe the state of drugs in everyday life now. I hate drugs with everything that happened with my brother and one of the dads of the lads were even doing poppers at the dinner table and then i know several of the lad did cocaine later. Their is no reason for this they are suppose to be young fit healthy men at i guess semi pro level it really disgraced me. Anyway thats not really my problem until nxt season when they all have heart attacks on the pitch! Touch wood that don’t happen tho the one lad on the last game of the season had a fit and couldn’t breath till his head was supported and put in recovery position, which did scare the poo out of me!! Anyways back to the night i talked to a lad i fancied and been with drunkenly at xmas well not slept with just kissed and my bf has found out and i got in trouble but i couldn’t stay away from him is look really hot. We all moved to a club he paid 4 my entry and all my drinks and eventually the taxi back to the hotel which the presentation took place in and where he was staying that night, which i wasnt my bf was picking me up and taking me home at 2. being drunk i went up to his room and we first mainly talked then we started touching and kissing but we didnt have sex i guess he was 2 drunk. Then my phone rang why am i at the hotel when i should be at the club my bf wants to know i make up a lie that one of the lad was so drunk he needed looking after that worked untill he talked the lads friend the nxt day busted!

The thing is if i do this to my bf how can i possibly love him i don’t even feel guilt i just enjoyed it and the lad did 2 we keep talking and meet on Saturday and today for drinks i have had hour long phone calls with him i think we may have something and he does too here the twist tho not only is it really hard for me to leave my bf of 4 years but he has a gf of the same amount of time. What shall i do we also both have holidays book to go with our partners!!

Well not really just dissertation hand in date looming over my head and im in hospital 2moz for more test on my heart condition, which is never much fun doctors and nurse poking u. I just hope they don’t make me run on the treadmill without a bra again that was a sight! No football today called off cuz of the snow (what ups with this country and its weather its just so odd!), stupid really it melted b4 kick off but never mind i when down the park with the lads to play instead which was a great laugh not the same physical output of a game tho, so that means less chocolate this wk!!

Need advice on laser hair removing i wonder if u can get ur bikini line and arm pits done that would be cool! Saying that out of student price range id have though but who knows!

Any girls out their fancy trying vibrators go for it i wish i had earlier so much fun and gives quick orgasms that quick release of sexual frustration is always needed especially during times of stress!!! The best one i have is the cone.

1. still struggling with my dissertation! It in on the 10th ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
2. My brother got his head beaten in cuz he has a drug problem and owes god knows how much money. its not that bothering me im scared they will come after me and me family.
3. dumbness with my new car. I tried to open the petrol cap and opened the bonnet instead! I drove into a bush, luckily no marks on lupo! I could not start the car and it was only cuz i did put the key in further enough and last of all i couldn’t work out why the one side of the cars lights were on even tho the keys were out, the light were supposedly off, so i left them on for my dad to tell me that i left the indicator on!

4. I have no money and i have to pay for my car to be serviced, i wanted to make it look nicer with pink things that i cant afford, i have to pay for my holiday, the football seasons nearly over no more money! I need clothes in general and for my holiday. I lost weight with the gall bladder and non of my bras fit and my short r all too big plus i have thin holey socks that need replacing.

When this happens all i want to do is have sex, masturbate, play football and eat chocolate cuz these things make me feel better!!

So i have so much 2 do on my dissertation but only a month 2 do it 10 thousand words i have like i dont know 4000 properly less cuz what i do have is shit! I also have to miss uni 2 morro cuz i have to see the cardiologist about my heart problem condition they think i have which is a pain!!! oh well tell you how it goes 2moz!!! X