DUMB and BLONDE!

I’m lonely i have left my bf 4 another man who lives 40mins away and it quite a busy person who also dealing with his break up 2! I have been talking 2 him on the phone but he seems depressed that his ex hates him and his ex’s friends obviously do 2 as well! I haven’t got this my ex is still buying me presents and ringing me all the time in a vain hope i will return to him i do love him but love like a friend not a lover.

Holidays have been arranged and we did this b4 we split from our partners so he still has to go with his partner im not happy about but hey ho im going with mine still so i have no right 2 object anyways. It still slightly worrying but i guess he may think the same that’s if he realizes that not only he has problems with his ex but i do 2!

I need to stop thinking about all this new rubbish with relationships and concentrate on revision but its far 2 hard not to get distracted.

The exams in 2 wks scary!!! On a happy note Hull city won and r going 2 wembley yay!!!

I have been really busy with uni, football and generally making a mess with of my life nothing ever really changes then! I had the presentation evening for the football team i work 4 last Friday it was an odd but overall enjoyable night. I had things to consider4 a start i didn’t know what to wear cuz obviously i wanted to look sexy but not slutty and not just the players but the board were their 2! I went for a yellow, black and white short in length puff ball dress with low neckline. Ok i looked great it was good to show the lad that i am a girl and i don’t wear a tracksuit all the time although the neckline maybe was unsuitable as most of the night lads looked at my chest and not my face oh well. So i get my bf to drop me off and don’t know how i got him to let me go out with a team of lads but hey he did i was happy. We ate our meal but i cannot believe the state of drugs in everyday life now. I hate drugs with everything that happened with my brother and one of the dads of the lads were even doing poppers at the dinner table and then i know several of the lad did cocaine later. Their is no reason for this they are suppose to be young fit healthy men at i guess semi pro level it really disgraced me. Anyway thats not really my problem until nxt season when they all have heart attacks on the pitch! Touch wood that don’t happen tho the one lad on the last game of the season had a fit and couldn’t breath till his head was supported and put in recovery position, which did scare the poo out of me!! Anyways back to the night i talked to a lad i fancied and been with drunkenly at xmas well not slept with just kissed and my bf has found out and i got in trouble but i couldn’t stay away from him is look really hot. We all moved to a club he paid 4 my entry and all my drinks and eventually the taxi back to the hotel which the presentation took place in and where he was staying that night, which i wasnt my bf was picking me up and taking me home at 2. being drunk i went up to his room and we first mainly talked then we started touching and kissing but we didnt have sex i guess he was 2 drunk. Then my phone rang why am i at the hotel when i should be at the club my bf wants to know i make up a lie that one of the lad was so drunk he needed looking after that worked untill he talked the lads friend the nxt day busted!

The thing is if i do this to my bf how can i possibly love him i don’t even feel guilt i just enjoyed it and the lad did 2 we keep talking and meet on Saturday and today for drinks i have had hour long phone calls with him i think we may have something and he does too here the twist tho not only is it really hard for me to leave my bf of 4 years but he has a gf of the same amount of time. What shall i do we also both have holidays book to go with our partners!!

Well not really just dissertation hand in date looming over my head and im in hospital 2moz for more test on my heart condition, which is never much fun doctors and nurse poking u. I just hope they don’t make me run on the treadmill without a bra again that was a sight! No football today called off cuz of the snow (what ups with this country and its weather its just so odd!), stupid really it melted b4 kick off but never mind i when down the park with the lads to play instead which was a great laugh not the same physical output of a game tho, so that means less chocolate this wk!!

Need advice on laser hair removing i wonder if u can get ur bikini line and arm pits done that would be cool! Saying that out of student price range id have though but who knows!

Any girls out their fancy trying vibrators go for it i wish i had earlier so much fun and gives quick orgasms that quick release of sexual frustration is always needed especially during times of stress!!! The best one i have is the cone.

What kind of person steals money off his own little sister well thats my brother it was not lot but cuz i earn less than £50 a wk it is a lot 2 me! ive forgiven him so many times it is untrue but im getting to the stage where i really hate him but at the same time he is still my brother and i cannot how ever much i want to stop loving him even tho hes 2 dumb 2 even know this!!!!

We won 3-0 at footy today so that was good especially keeping a clean sheet as a central  defender! I still worry about how little goal threat we have i mean i guess if ur reading this ur thinking well u scored 3 but in fact we missed at least 10 clear cut chances only 1-0 up at half time.

It was really sweet of Steve .T. 2 say he felt upset when he saw me in hospital and that we would have done better if i hadn’t been ill!!

I have got some really good people in my life and i need to remember this when my brother gets me down. All my uni, footy both, rob going out friends mum and dad and other family are all great

I just found this on our coach Steve .E.
QUALIFICATIONS:
FA Level 3 Certificate in Coaching Football (UEFA B)
FA Level 2 Goalkeeper Coaching
COACHING CAREER:
Birmingham City FC, West Bromwich Albion FC, Aston Villa Ladies FC, Coventry City Ladies FC
Founding member of current Goalkeeper Coaching Programme

pretty damn impressive i really love this bloke he is great for my team!!

What can i say its never good news to find something wrong with u especially when ur only 21 but as the title says i have a heart condition called Wolff Parkinson white syndrome, meaning i have likeness to have palpitations and die well hopefully not that last bit i don’t feel too bad at the moment i play footy on Sunday against Redditch and we won 2-0 i managed to hurt my Achilles and therefore my ankle is swollen to add to my troubles. In the last year of uni trying to do a stressful dissertation about a topic that i have made far to complex what was i thinking how the physiology of the endocrine system affects performance of female athletes. anyway im writing this again cuz im stressed with everything and cant think what else i should write it not really that i don’t like or understand my topic its more that i don’t know how i should be writing it to get a good mark!!

so need to explain im a very girly girl who loves pink and everyone thinks of me as a pretty dumb blonde suppose i live up 2 this maybe cuz its fun sometimes. Plus when ur pretty u can manipulate men to do what u want well most of them anyways. I love football (soccer if ur a yank) i live it everyday, watching it, playing it, physio for it plus i am a qualified coach and ref but i don’t do these much anymore. At uni currently in my most stressful last year and i should be doing my dissertation instead im writing this!! I’m studying Sports Therapy which is kind of like physiotherapy but we concentrate on sports injuries and rehabilitation. With how bad my last year is going even though i don’t want to give up im very close. I’m be hide on my dissertation cuz ive been ill with and need a open stomach operation i worked really hard to assignments and got a C+ and D- that made me feel really dumb and shit so im wondering if the best thing to do is to live up 2 how i look and admit i must be just be a f…king pretty dumb blonde!!!